


Inhaling Joy

by red_day_dawning



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Post-War, M/M, Post-War, Romance, Slash, snarry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-05
Updated: 2011-01-05
Packaged: 2017-10-14 10:38:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/148360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/red_day_dawning/pseuds/red_day_dawning
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>Severus stared at Harry, his forefinger tracing the outline of his mouth, his gaze fathomless and unreadable.  In a low voice, he finally said, “I would have thought you preferred me dead.”</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Inhaling Joy

**Author's Note:**

> Written for LiveJournals's mini_fest. Betaread by Whitestar_alpha and read through by Torino10154, thank you both, my dears. Any mistakes remain my own.  
> The characters and settings of Harry Potter belong to J.K.Rowling and various publishers including, but not limited to, Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoat Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made here, and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Harry shivered in the softly falling snow. The gravestone glowed in the dim light, pale and bright. In his hands he held white roses; this time he had brought something to lay before his parents’ headstone. He knelt and placed the flowers at the stone base, lightly tracing the words engraved upon the marble. “Merry Christmas, Mum and Dad,” he murmured. Slowly standing, Harry brushed away the snow that clung to his trousers.

A muffled sound behind Harry spun him around, wand out and ready. Cautiously he took a few steps forward and silently cast _Lumos!_. The graveyard was empty, he stood alone among the crooked rows of headstones and a few leafless trees, their silhouettes dark against the falling snow. Shaking his head, he whispered _Nox_ and then turned to _Apparate_ away.

Reappearing on the other side of the graveyard, Harry held himself still, pressed against the chilly bark of a leafless tree. He watched as the man glanced around the dimly lit graveyard, and approached the pale glowing gravestone, placing his bouquet next to Harry’s flowers. Sprigs of white lilac and creamy-pale lilies now mingled with the roses, the flowers gleaming against the dark green, sharp-edged holly arranged beneath them. Harry heard a hoarsely whispered “Lily”, as the man stood silently for a few moments with his head bowed then Apparated away with a muffled crack.

As the other man disappeared Harry whispered the spell that would track him. He had recognized the silhouette immediately. Severus Snape, now officially a dead hero, despite the persistent whisper of rumours that he was alive and well-hidden by a Ministry grateful for information. Harry spoke to Kingsley once about the rumours regarding Snape’s survival. The Minister met his eyes with a silent head shake and a weighted unblinking stare. Without another word Harry had walked away, angrily brushing at the tears that stung his eyes.

Harry took a deep breath and followed the trace of the other man’s Apparation trail, as though this was just another Auror-training exercise. Heart pounding as it never had in class, Harry arrived, standing in what might, in the light of day, be a well-ordered garden. Here, far from other houses, the night was too dark for Harry to see anything other than a vague outline of a building surrounded by trees, and the rectangle of a doorway, brightly lit as the door was flung open wide.

“Well, don’t just stand there, come in,” a familiar voice growled. Lurching in surprise, Harry warily came closer. Snape glanced at him dismissively as he approached, saying, “Well, at least they got it right this time. Last time they sent a muscle-bound Viking who tried to charge _me_ a fee for wasting his time. Idiots. But tonight they may have actually managed to comprehend the meaning of the words ‘dark-haired, lean, not too tall’. Well, are you coming in? I’m not paying you to stand there gaping at me.”

Harry stepped through the door, too dazed to notice that he now stood in a room furnished with a worn sofa and a few armchairs, every wall covered floor to ceiling with bookshelves. “Professor Snape,” he whispered, his voice hoarse and trembling.

Snape whipped around, his mouth opening to spit out invectives that would cut and sting. He paused, stunned, and stared at Harry, his face stark and pale with surprise. “Potter! What are you doing here?” he snarled. “How dare you come to my home without invitation or warning.”

“Professor,” Harry stammered. “You’re really alive. Oh, my god, you’re _alive_.”

“How did you come here? Did you follow me?” Snape spat.

“From the graveyard, yes.”

“I thought you did not see me.”

“I hadn’t,” Harry replied. “But I _knew_ someone was there, I heard them. So I Apparated away and then returned outside the graveyard to see who it was. Even as I was setting the spell to track you, I thought I might have imagined you there simply because I wanted you to be alive.”

A fleeting look of surprise on his face, Snape asked, “You _wished_ that I was alive?” He raised his hand to halt Harry’s reply as he snapped, “Wait here,” and strode without warning out his front door.

Hearing the murmur of voices, Harry stepped closer to look out the door. He could see Snape speaking with another man, but could hear no words. He watched as Snape handed the other man something and turned back to the house. Hastily, Harry returned to his original position.

“Sit!” Snape snapped, as he sat in one of the armchairs. He bowed his head, pressing the bridge of his nose between forefinger and thumb.

Harry sat, his heart pounding as he waited for the other man to speak. Moments passed until he hesitantly said, “Professor?”

“No longer,” was the abrupt reply.

“I don’t know what to call you,” Harry said.

“You know my name.”

“Snape? Or can I call you Severus?”

“Why would you wish to?” Snape asked, raising his head to glare at Harry.

Harry shook his head, struggling for words. “I never thought I’d ever see you again, be able to thank you for all that you did. And here you are, alive.”

Severus stared at Harry, his forefinger tracing the outline of his mouth, his gaze fathomless and unreadable. In a low voice, he finally said, “I would have thought you preferred me dead.”

“Merlin, no,” Harry laughed. “Not after I’d seen your memories and realized all that you’d done for us. Even though I knew you couldn’t be alive, I couldn’t stop hoping.” His cheeks heating, he added, “I’ve wanted to say thank you for a long time.”

Severus frowned a little, then looked away. “I find myself at an uncommon loss. I never thought that I would be welcomed with anything other than loathing, Mr Potter.”

“Don’t! Just call me Harry, not Mr Potter. The way you say it reminds me of how much you hated me, and how much I once hated you.”

Severus looked directly at Harry, his eyes dark, burning. “At times I hated you more than you can possibly imagine. And at other times, I was merely playing a role, Mr... Harry. Lives depended on my successful performance. My hatred for you was an integral part of that role. But you were not acting, you did hate me.”

Staring intently at Severus, Harry said, “Like I said, I don’t hate you now. Far from it.”

Only the crackling of the burning fire interrupted the silence, as Severus stared into the flames and Harry struggled to accept that this, his greatest wish, was real. Finally Severus cleared his throat and said, “May I offer you a drink? It is after all Christmas Eve.”

Startled from his thoughts, Harry said, “Oh, I’m sorry, I just realized, you were expecting a friend tonight. I’m sorry if you sent him away because of me.”

“Hardly a ‘friend’, Potter,” Severus replied. “A ‘service provider’ rather than a friend.”

“It’s Harry,” Harry said. “And I’m not sure what you mean. What kind of service could he provide?”

“I’ll leave you to think on that a little,” was the dry response as Severus poured two glasses of a whiskey. “If you are that naive, I will say nothing to sully your innocence. And if not, the solution will occur to you.”

“Oh!” breathed Harry. “Oh. Do you mean... Oh.”

Severus laughed harshly as he handed Harry the glass. “Drink up. You look as though you need it.”

“I didn’t know you were homosexual,” Harry said, bringing the glass to his lips. He coughed and sputtered at the first taste of the fiery liquor. Catching his breath, he added, “I thought you loved my mother.”

Raising one eyebrow, Severus smoothly said, “I did love Lily. Indeed, I still do. But that has little to do with my preference for men. Did you not have a close friendship with Miss Granger, a bond between you as strong or even stronger than your bond with Miss Weasley.”

“Ginny?” Harry frowned. “We haven’t been together since Sixth year.”

“I do read the papers, you know,” came the amused response.

“The papers don’t know anything,” Harry replied darkly. “They make up rubbish. They spoke to people who knew about us from school, and then decided they had a story. I make damn sure that part of my life is not public.”

“Oh?” Severus asked, one eyebrow raised, refilling Harry’s empty glass.

“Yes,” said Harry firmly. “I’m not attracted to women any more than you are,” he added meeting Severus’s eyes.

A strange, fiery expression briefly flickered through Severus’ eyes; vanishing before Harry could interpret it. A trick of the firelight, he thought, dismissing it as he drained his glass. As Severus poured more whiskey into his glass Harry relaxed in the warmth of the fire and the whiskey, strangely content.

~*~

 

Severus woke before the sun’s rising, his body alert to small disturbances even after little sleep. He stretched, unable to imagine why he had slept so close to the edge of his bed and wondered what had interrupted his sleep. A subtle movement of his mattress reminded him he was not alone. He shifted around until he saw the young man lying beside him. Harry slept heavily, his mouth slightly open and faintly snoring, still affected by last night’s excess drinking, no doubt. As if aware of Severus’ attention even while sleeping, Harry stirred a little, pressing himself against Severus. Too close to the edge of the bed to move away, Severus gradually relaxed into the warm press of the body at his side, finally drifting back into sleep.

A warm and comforting weight pinned Severus to the mattress. Harry had flung an arm and a leg over him and pressed his erection firmly into Severus’ thigh. Severus lay very still, feigning sleep as Harry softly undulated against him. _Harry Potter is frotting my thigh,_ Severus thought. Severus’ cock hardened and lengthened, twitching as it pressed against Harry. He froze as Harry began muttering “Oh god, oh god, oh god,” as he rocked against Severus. Severus slowed his breathing and willed his erection down. His cock responded by hardening further with a decisive twitch. He tried to edge away, but Harry pressed his limbs against Severus more firmly.

“No, don’t move, you feel so good,” Harry said giving him a big grin. “Merry Christmas, Severus.”

Severus stiffened, and moved away a little. “Merry Christmas, Harry,” he murmured.

Harry said, “No, stay still, you feel too good.”

“You are still drunk, Mr Potter,” Severus said, glaring at Harry’s bright eyes and his decidedly insolent grin.

“Nah, I’m not drunk,” Harry replied, his grin widening. “I’m not even hung over. And it’s Harry, not Mr Potter. And you _do_ feel good.”

“Potter... Harry, have you lost the last remnants of your sanity?” Severus said, trying to pull himself away from Harry’s grasp. “Must I remind you that you are currently frotting against your most hated teacher?”

“You’re not my teacher now and I don’t hate you anymore. I thought we went through all that last night? You’re alive, I don’t hate you, and you feel bloody great,” Harry said, pulling Severus closer to him.

Severus gasped, and thrust against him, helplessly. “You’re mad,” he whispered.

“Nah.”

“Utterly insane,” Severus said, stroking the front of Harry’s boxers, smirking as Harry gasped.

“Oh, Merlin, yeah,” Harry moaned, thrusting into Severus’ hand. “Feels good. Here, let me...” he said, grabbing Severus’ undergarments and trying to tug them off. “Too tangled,” he laughed, caught up in the blankets. He moved away to wriggle out of his own pants.

Severus pulled the blankets away and his pants off, lying propped on his elbow to look at Harry. He gazed down the length of Harry’s body, his breath catching as he stared at Harry’s swollen cock. “Harry,” he whispered, an entreaty, a promise.

“Merlin,” Harry said, reaching out to run his hand down Severus’ chest towards his thick cock. “You’re huge. You’re absolutely gorgeous,” he said. Harry slid down the bed licking along Severus’ prick from tip to base, his lips lingering on the leaking, purple-red head. “Gorgeous,” he whispered against the hard flesh. “Beautiful,” Harry murmured as he opened his mouth to draw Severus’ cock deep inside, his eyes looking up into the other man’s face. “Mmm,” he murmured incomprehensibly, his mouth filled with Severus’ cock.

Severus reached down to stroke Harry’s hair, his thumb caressing the scar on his forehead. “Harry,” he exhaled, gazing into the beautiful, bright eyes, mesmerized by the way Harry’s lips stretched around his cock, his mouth moving up and down. He let out a low groan as his prick was swallowed deep into Harry’s throat. “Fuck, enough!” he said, moving away from the enticing mouth. He pulled Harry on top of him, and grabbed his arse to guide his cock against his own. Their cocks pressed against each other, hot and slick with pre-come, sliding up and down. He trailed his fingers down between Harry’s buttocks, whispering a spell that coated his fingers with slippery lubricant. His fingers teased and circled Harry’s arsehole, sliding the tip of his finger in and out as their cocks thrust wildly against one another.

Harry moaned “Yeah,” and spread his legs, moving down against the finger until it was pressed fully inside. “Merlin, yes,” he said, pushing up until he sat over the other man’s cock. “More,” he demanded, as Severus pushed another finger inside. “More.”

Severus felt as though he was fevered, on fire. His breath caught in his throat and his eyes burned. His cock ached and twitched, thrusting against Harry’s weight pressing down on him. A long drawn-out moan was pulled from Severus as Harry briefly lifted himself away from his fingers. Reaching down, Harry held Severus’ cock steady. Slowly, he lowered himself, settling millimetre by millimetre onto Severus’ hard prick. Severus cried out as Harry started to move up and down.

Harry took him in deeper and deeper, panting and moaning “Yes, god, yes.”

Severus tried to remain still as Harry fucked him. Electricity shot through his cock as he began to thrust helplessly, pushing his pelvis up to drive deeper inside Harry’s tight arse. Shaking, Severus pulled Harry’s mouth to his own, kissing Harry as if he would inhale him or eat him alive.

Tongues entwined, Harry cried out against Severus’ lips. Severus felt Harry’s cock leap and spasm against his own belly, followed by the spurt of come, hot on his skin. Holding Harry tightly in his arms as he moved, Severus rolled over on top of him, and began thrusting hard and deep, his orgasm roaring through him, shattering his vision into blindness, white light.

Still trembling, Severus wrapped his arms around Harry tightly, pressing his mouth against the top of his head, waiting for his heart to slow and his breath to catch. Faintly, he could hear Harry murmuring something against his chest, Harry’s mouth ghosting open-mouthed over his skin. As his breath slowed and steadied, Severus’ hearing finally caught up with his thoughts.

“This wasn’t just a one-off, was it? I mean it was fantastic, and if it was a one-off, well that’s okay, but I’d really like to do this again. Severus? We are going to do this again, aren't we?”

“Not until I’ve caught my breath,” Severus replied in a stern voice.

Harry laughed and wriggled out from beneath him, pressing against Severus as he wrapped his arms around him. “I really don’t want this to be the only time, I want to do this with you again and again.” He looked up at Severus, his eyes bright, yet uncertain.

Severus’ heart caught at the thought that this beautiful young man had no idea how desirable he was, that this remarkable, gorgeous man wanted him. Again and again.

His voice hoarse, Severus said “You _must_ be insane. But, I’ve waited far too long to be satisfied with only one time.”

“Yeah?” Harry asked, his voice cracking. “You wanted _me_? For a long time? Wow, that’s brilliant,” Harry laughed, leaning forward to kiss Severus. “Merry Christmas, Severus. Oh, wow, this is the best.”

“Merry Christmas, Harry,” Severus softly replied, his mouth pressed to Harry’s, breathing in Harry’s smiles and excitement with every kiss. Inhaling joy.

 

~*~ ~ Fin ~ ~*~

 

 **Author Notes**  
The flowers for the Potters’ gravestone:  
White lilac: symbolizes ‘youthful innocence’ in the language of flowers.  
White lily: ‘Purity’ in the language of flowers.  
White roses: In the language of flowers, ‘eternal love, silence or innocence, wistfulness, virtue, purity, secrecy, reverence and humility’.  
Holly: traditionally used at Christmas, holly signifies truth in heraldry.  
In the Celtic ritual year, holly symbolizes winter when night lasts longer than day and the season is cold and dark. Also, the prickliness of holly leaves represents “protection, vigilance and stubborn victories won”.


End file.
